Q: Dear Jackie, I have two grown-up daughters who haven’t seen eye to eye for [...]
Ask Jackie: kinship carers’ contact issue with other grandmotherCreated by Jackie Highe in Ask Jackie, Kinship Carers, No contact
Q: Hi. We are taking out a residence order in respect of our granddaughter. We have been kinship carers since she was 10 months – she is 5 now. She has no contact with mum, health our daughter, order however she sees her father once a month for 1.5 hours whilst supervised by us at a local venue. He only came forward when she was 3. His mother has had no contact at all, ailment but recently came forward looking for contact. We agreed to his mother joining in his contact for the last half hour, every 3 months but she now wants more as she feels the child will forget who she is. I feel what we offered is fine, but perhaps social services or the court can agree to her getting more despite all the time that has passed? For clarity, contact with her other grandmother has not started up yet.
A: Social services and the courts are legally bound to act in what they see as the best interests of the child. You can state your views to them – calmly and without heat – and give your reason for those views. With a residence order you will have some parental responsibility, but the courts are involved. You may need to take legal advice.
I don’t know the background to this situation and of course there may be a very good reason for contact not being increased. On the other hand it may be just your natural and instinctive protectiveness.
Before you rush off to try to ban this contact have a good think. Does your granddaughter know/like her other grandma? If so, and there’s no adverse reason, would it be nice for her to get to know her?
Discuss it all, in a friendly spirit, with social services and/or your court appointed officer.