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Ask Jackie: how do I cope with my granddaughters tantrums?

Created by Jackie Highe in Ask Jackie, Being a Granny-carer



source الخيارات الثنائية جيدة أو سيئة Q: I am a 65 gran of 3, aged 8, 18 and 21 years. The eldest two are at University and live in a secure family unit with my daughter and son-in-law. The youngest is nearly 9 and lives with her father, my son. He obtained sole custody of his daughter several years ago from his ex who lives in Scotland, as she was unstable, self-harming and reliant on drug. He obtained Court consent nearly three years ago to bring his daughter down to Cornwall where most of his family live with no opposition from the Scottish side of her mothers family and moved down here to be near us. الخيارات الثنائية التداول بلوق

 

enter site My son works long and unsocial hours to support his daughter and relies heavily on me for child care which I do willingly and with love. My problem is my grand-daughter has developed regular screaming tantrums if she doesn’t get her own and particularly at bedtimes if her Dad is working a long night shift on the railways resulting in him driving off in a highly stressed out state which worries me a great deal. I know that he suffers feelings of guilt by bringing her down here, but she really is better off down here.

 

enter I cannot afford to spend a great deal on her as I am on a State Pension, but I do take her to the local park, library and other local amenities and my son takes her surfing, skateboarding and other water activities. At my home she has 2 dogs, 1 cat and 2 rabbits, plus a field full of Shetland ponies next door which she loves! Her mother only phones once in a blue moon when she’s not in rehab or hospital. Her maternal grandmother sends her expensive presents if and when – but my husband and I give her everything that counts.

 

مستشار استراتيجية الخيارات الثنائية I can identify the problem but I am at a loss as how to deal with it. We have spoken to the school, but we really do not want for social services to get involved. I don’t want to vilify her other family who I speak to civilly, but I do not know what to say to me grand-daughter who obviously loves her mother. Do I explain that love and care mean more than expensive toys and computer games? Her m click um promised her nearly a year ago that she would be moving to Cornwall to be near her, we even tried to help this come about, but we knew that it wasn’t going to happen. She has not got the means or references to get a flat, and we are left with a troubled and confused child.

 

http://jesspetrie.com/?amilto=%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%AE%D9%8A%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%AB%D9%86%D8%A7%D8%A6%D9%8A-%D9%81%D9%8A-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%A5%D8%B3%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%85 We love her to bits but how do we cope without making it worse? She lives with me for approximately 6 months of the year when my son is working and I drive 50 miles a day to get her to and from school, brownies etc. http://1conn.com/?binarforexar=التسجيل-ÙÙŠ-سوق-الاسهم-السعودي Her maternal granny is coming down to take her away for a week and I anticipate major problems when she returns to Scotland.

 

http://investingtips360.com/?klaystrofobiya=%D9%85%D8%AA%D9%89-%D9%8A%D8%A8%D8%AF%D8%A3-%D8%AA%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%88%D9%84-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D9%87%D9%85-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%A8%D9%86%D9%83-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%87%D9%84%D9%8A&e22=d4 متى يبدأ تداول اسهم البنك الاهلي A: Your granddaughter’s behaviour is understandably worrying you and your son – but what she’s doing makes perfect sense to her – she’s kicking up because her world is not the way she wants it to be.  She loves her dad, and you, and it’s clear you both surround her with love, attention and care, which she takes entirely for granted – and that’s absolutely normal.

 

But she also adores her mother – that’s normal too. And her mother isn’t around, and doesn’t even reliably keep contact, so your granddaughter is letting you know how she feels about that in no uncertain terms.

 

This isn’t helped by the fact that her maternal grandparents are trying (probably with the best intentions) to make it up to her with presents.

 

Here are a few do’s and don’ts: don’t get into a battle with her, and don’t make it a ‘big talk’. Don’t do it when she’s actually throwing a strop or refer back to previous tantrums. Do it spontaneously when you’re at the park or somewhere like that. Tell her how much you love her (she knows but say it anyway), how you’ll always be there, and so will her dad. Talk casually about her dad’s job – say he has to work long hours but he loves her and spends as much time as he can with her. Don’t put any guilt on her by saying anything like ‘he works to give you….’  She’s only nine – keep it simple. Get your son to do the same in reverse, about himself and you.

 

And don’t on any account, criticise her mother or other grandparents. Whatever you feel, you can’t expect her to share your views – and she shouldn’t be asked to.

 

Time will sort this if you don’t make too much of it. When she has a tantrum, act calmly, don’t rise to it – just as you would behave towards a two-year old – older child, same principle. Your son needs to do this too. The longer she can keep him there arguing with her, the more she wins, because that’s just what she wants – her dad to be there.

 

You’re a wonderful grandma, and your son is a great dad. You’re her world. Don’t worry, your granddaughter won’t miss that point as she grows. She’ll know the difference.

 

http://wilsonrelocation.com/?q=%D8%A7%D9%81%D9%8A%D8%AF%D9%88%D9%86%D9%8A-%D8%A8%D8%AA%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%88%D9%84-%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%81%D9%88%D8%B1%D9%83%D8%B3-%D9%87%D9%84-%D9%87%D9%88-%D9%85%D9%86%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%A8 افيدوني بتداول الفوركس هل هو مناسب Jackie





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