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Ask Jackie: Approaching son-in-law for the first time

Created by Jackie Highe in Ask Jackie

http://i3group.com.au/?klykva=%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%A8%D8%B1%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%AC-%D9%85%D9%84%D9%83%D8%A9-%D8%AE%D9%8A%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%AB%D9%86%D8%A7%D8%A6%D9%8A&a48=e3 واصلت Q: Hi Jackie, I adopted my stepchildren when they were young children (their mum had died when they were toddlers). Unfortunately my daughter had emotional difficulties and went off the rails aged 14. She ended up in care and broke off contact with us and her younger brother. By the age of 22 she had had 2 children within 13 months of each other. She married their father when she was 23. Since then she has had 2 more children so now she has 4 children under the age of 8. Over the years we have often written to her to try to reconcile but she has always ignored our attempts so we have never met her husband and children.

http://freemanharding.co.uk/?kostrybatuy=%D9%86%D8%B8%D9%85-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%AA%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%88%D9%84-%D8%A8%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%81%D9%88%D8%B1%D9%83%D8%B3&bae=9d  

http://www.elsiemagazine.com/?afimos=%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%AE%D9%8A%D8%A7%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%AA-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%AB%D9%86%D8%A7%D8%A6%D9%8A%D8%A9-%D9%85%D9%82%D8%A7%D8%A8%D9%84-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%B9%D9%85%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%AA-%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%81%D9%88%D8%B1%D9%8A%D8%A9&930=c9 http://psychtherapy.co.uk/?kindor=%D8%AA%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%88%D9%84-%D8%AC%D9%85%D9%8A%D8%B9-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%B3%D9%87%D9%85-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%B9%D8%B1%D8%A8%D9%8A%D9%87-%D9%86%D8%AA&537=53 We live in a small town and people occasionally tell us how our daughter and her family are getting on. We recently heard that our daughter had gone off the rails again, that her husband had thrown her out of their home and is going to court to get custody of their children. Because of her emotional difficulties we are worried about her mental health. As yet we don’t know where she is living and we suspect that she would not welcome any contact from us. We are also concerned about her 4 young children. We have recently written to her husband saying that we have heard that the family have spilt up and that he is looking after the children. We were very non-committal about the break up and said that we often think about his children and would like to get to know him and them. Now we are waiting for a response to our letter but continue to worry about the children stuck in the middle of the acrimony. Please can you advise us on what would be a reasonable length of time to wait for a response and what could we do if we don’t get a response or if our son-in-law refuses to let us meet our grandchildren.

الخيارات الثنائية إشارات MT4  

سوق الفوركس الخيارات الثنائية أكاديمية التداول A: My heart goes out to you, and my answer could be summed up in three words – don’t give up. It’s hard for any parent to witness the break-up of a child’s relationship, especially when there are grandchildren. For you, having never seen your grandchildren, it must be infinitely worse. How long should you give him? Contact him now – enough time should have passed.

تفسيري  

الصفحة الرئيسية You’ve never met your son-in-law so you have no basis on which to begin – but neither, on the other hand, have you been directly involved in the present situation – there’s no baggage to cause him to dislike or distrust you. This could work to your advantage.

تفسيرها  

flexibelt jobb hemifrån The thing to do first is to find a way to talk to him. It’s a small town. There must be someone you know of who knows him.

الرسم البياني للفوركس  

http://hollmen.com/?kastrylja=%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%85%D9%82%D8%A7%D8%B1%D9%86%D8%A9-%D8%A8%D9%8A%D9%86-%D9%88%D8%B3%D8%B7%D8%A7%D8%A1-%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%81%D9%88%D8%B1%D9%83%D8%B3&d55=f0 Approach that person, and without getting involved in too much personal stuff, explain simply that you’re very keen to meet your son-in-law; that you would love to get to know him and your grandchildren after all these years.

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If you do make contact, invite him round for a chat, and when you meet him, don’t make demands or push. Say straightforwardly that you won’t be attempting to affect the custody battle, but that you have a lot of love to give – and whatever has happened in the past, you’re there for your grandchildren.

 

Bear in mind that your son-in-law and daughter are in the middle of a nasty battle, so make it clear that you love her, but you won’t interfere, or take sides.

 

If he won’t let you see your grandchildren, talk to social services. It’s their job to mediate between families in situations like this. Stay calm, explain the circumstances. Tell them why you think it’s so important for your grandchildren to be in contact with you. They should understand – and it’s their duty under the law to try for you anyway.

If this fails your last resort is to go to court – but it’s expensive and there’s no guarantee of success.

 

None of this is going to be easy – but take it slowly – a step at a time. Your grandchildren need you in their lives. Keep talking – the bridges are there for the building.

 

 

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